Well it has come to that time of pregnancy where vanity must go or I will become thoroughly depressed. What has pushed me to this completely non-feminine concept of having absolutely no vanity you may ask? Well there are a few things. First of all my pants don't fit anymore, I am in pants limbo. To big for my old pants but not big enough for maternity pants. That means it is time to pull out my old post baby, aka fat pants. Now there are two reasons that I need to put aside all vanity to wear these pants, first is the obvious that they are fat pants. Second is the fact that they are years old and most likely out of style, but who wants to spend money on stylish fat pants, not me. I would rather just give up my vanity and be comfortable if unstylish.
My next "give up vanity incident" happened when I was only 5 weeks along! I was at church and a sort of friend of mine came up to me and asked if I was pregnant "yes" I said wondering who had told her. Then she went on this monologue about how she couldn't tell if I was pregnant or just having a bad month! Her words not mine. Then realizing she had just totally insulted me she tried to cover it up with a backhanded compliment of "well usually you are sooo skinny". I just sat there and stared at her not quite believing she had actually said all that. Really, how do you respond to that, I could be honest and say "why did you just say all that to me, are you stupid or are you just trying to push me into a deep depression?" or I could go the self depreciating route and say "you are right, that grain of rice inside of me has made me poof out like the stay puff marshmallow". You see there is nothing to say to people like this. I would really like to return to my idea of a previous post and throw a book at her, but I can't, it is important for some reason to be "polite" to people even when they are rude to us, I guess I will just have to be the "bigger" person, hahaha I crack myself up.
Anyway my latest proof that I need to give up all vanity came from my two year old. I was getting out of the shower the other day and she came up to me, pointed to my rear end, and said "that's big" feeling that I needed to clarify before I burst into tears I pointed to the offending area and said "that's big?" to which she replied "yes, that's big" then walked out of the room. Well folks kids don't lie, so goodbye vanity i think i will miss you, but maybe not. I think it will be nice to not care for a while.
Subscribe to:
Post Comments (Atom)
3 comments:
Karen, I was laughing at the title before I even read the rest! Keep it coming! Your blog is the best.
i burst into tears too...from laughter! i can't believe the things your friends and kids have said to you. do you need humbling or something? what's the deal? whatever it is, it makes for great blogging:) oh, and you do NOT have a big rear end!!!
my question is who doesn't have a big bootie??? Aren't they supposed to be all fat?! I mean really... the bigger the bootie the more comfortable you are when you sit down. :)
Post a Comment