HOW DARE YOU!!!!!

So I made the mistake the other day of looking at a website that showed diagrams of what the baby looked like inside the mommy week by week. So I rapidly clicked on week 34, week 35, 36, and so on until 40. Let me tell you it was not a good idea. At week 34 the baby looked pretty squished (and I can assure you that it is by the way that I feel right now) and then it kept getting worse and worse. I think I was probably a little pale at this point as I was realizing what is going to happen to me. That is when my husband came in the room and I told him what I had just looked at and that I was afraid, to which he replied "you have done this three times before why are you surprised". Ah the voice of reason. Really when is he going to learn that reason goes out the window the minute two lines appear on that test. So I say that ya I have done it before and that I had forgotten and that if you didn't forget the world would not be populated right now. So for all you women out there who are thinking of getting pregnant AGAIN let me tell you that my ribs hurt to the point that I walk around with my back arched hoping to make more room then I end up with a back ache. Also maternity clothes are getting too small for me so they are constantly uncomfortable and I am living in a state with the longest winter EVER so I can't wear any of my dresses or skirts which are much more comfy. Oh and lately every night my arm falls asleep and is constantly waking me up, that is when I am not being woken up by the need to use the bathroom three times a night. Then there is the constant ache in my lower belly and my ligaments (I feel like a barbie that can just have her legs easily snapped off at the hips). The baby is sitting so low that crossing my legs is not possible and really I just want to sit with them sprawled open which really doesn't work too well at church. My hands and feet puff up without any notice and I am really running low on energy. I am hungry all the time but sick of cooking, oh and I would give ANYTHING to be able to sleep on my tummy, I miss that so. So if that last paragraph isn't good birth control I don't know what is.
It is kind of funny cause two weeks ago I was really feeling pretty good, comfortable, lots of energy. So it makes me pretty sure that this little baby of mine has gained 3 pounds in the last week. Now a couple of pounds may not seem like a lot until you relate it to something. Like the website I read saying a 4 pound baby is about the size of a cantaloupe. Then I think of my first daughter who was 7lb 10oz and I think I had two cantaloupes in me plus a placenta, water, and an umbilical cord. My son who was 8lb 8 oz would be two cantaloupes and 3 bananas and my third kid who weighed in at a whopping 9 lbs 2 oz was a watermelon, really watermelons are that size. I remember they gave her a little pink shirt that said "I was born at St. Pete's" and it kept rolling up her fat belly because it was too small, it was soooo cute. So anyway the rapid increase of my belly recently has made me very fearful of having an even bigger baby, so I have decided to ask my doc tomorrow what her policy is on inducing early (on a side note my babies have all come early and still been big pieces of fruit). So I am hoping that she will say "sure I will induce you a week early". The interesting thing is the reactions I get from others when I tell them I want to do this. What is it about pregnancy and babies that makes people SO JUDGEMENTAL. I had one friend talking about another saying the girl had been induced early and she just didn't see why anyone would do that (oh course she has all her babies three weeks early so I don't think she has room to talk). So when I told her that I was going to ask my doc about it she just said "oh". Then my sis was telling me about a blog she had read about women who feel that they are judged badly by others because they bottle feed instead of breastfeed. Then there are the total strangers out there who stop me in the store and ask me how much milk I am drinking to make sure that I am treating my baby right. We pregnant women get judged for not exercising, for exercising too much (I so don't fall into that category), for having an epidural or going natural, really the list goes on and on. I wish I could say that we are only judged by men who don't know or people so old they have forgotten, but unfortunately I see women who have had babies recently themselves giving pregnant women the hardest time. Why does this happen? Maybe it is because we think everyone should do it our way cause if they do it different and it works out that means that we have somehow done it wrong. Or maybe we feel such a huge sense of responsibility towards our own children that we feel we have to watch out for all the children out there too. Who knows why, but I hope I can learn from these experiences and support all pregnant women out there. Except I will always take exception to women who smoke when they are pregnant, cause come on that one is pretty obvious! So anyway that is my little soap box for the day, or one of them anyway, I am in my last month anger and outrage come easily to me, teehee!