you know you are DONE when...

So I was reading one of the many pregnancy advice books out there
and there was a section talking about the signs that labor could be soon.
Like contractions are so far apart, you have lost your plug, etc. So I
started thinking about the real signs for us women that are sooooo ready to be
done with it all. So here goes

You know you are done with pregnancy when

10. You cry every day, but for different reasons each time.
The other week I really did cry every day. These are some of the reasons I cried.
Once cause I was so flippin tired I just couldn't help it. One
day I was reading a magazine about delivery and there was a part that said
when the baby is born she will cry because she is cold and not used to the
bright lights. I started crying my eyes out cause it made me so sad to think that my baby
would be cold. One day I cried because I was absolutely convinced that no one, not even my husband would lift a finger to help when the baby was born (which I know isn't true but that day I was sure of it). One day I cried cause I was sure that I hated my husband so much and then ten minutes later I was crying cause I love him so much and couldn't imagine my life without him. Then of course there was the day I looked through my other three kids scrap books, I for
sure cried my eyes out that day.

9. You are convinced that you really would sleep more once the baby was out of you and waking you up every three hours cause right now either your bladder or you pinched nerve in your arm is waking you up every hour and a half.

8. You can't tell people you were tossing and turning after a bad night sleep, instead you have to say "I was slowly and painfully shifting and rolling all night".

7. You feel so much pressure "down there" that you are convinced the baby is just trying to fall out of you.

6. You find yourself walking through Walmart giving your uterus a pep talk that if your water would just break you could be done with this, you are wondering if you focus hard enough on your water breaking if it will happen, mind over matter and all (I really did do this and unfortunately it turns out that I don't have any special mind powers where my uterus is concerned).

5. While you are at Walmart and you walk past the optometry department you wonder if you offered enough money if the optometrist would break your water.

4. When the optometrist says no you find yourself in the craft section looking at crochet hooks wondering if you could break your water yourself (I had my water broken with my last baby and that is really what they use, a big long plastic crochet hook and a rubber glove).

3. You find yourself avoiding all social functions because you just don't want to hear IT any more. By IT (I am definitely not referring to Bill Clinton's definition of the word) I mean "wow you have gotten big all of a sudden" (I really am measuring big now but do you think I want to hear it), "how much longer", "you know it is easier to take care of them now then when they come out" (have any of you ever known a woman who after she had her baby said "gee I wish this baby was still inside of me"), and my most hated comment "you look so cute" even if you think it I disagree completely and I DON'T want to hear it, any of it!

2. Your maternity clothes that when you hold them up look big enough to hold a three ring circus don't fit when you try to put them on.

1. And finally, you know you are done when you wish the mild contractions you are having every day would start to hurt. I mean really who wants to have something hurt them, but I find that all these mild contractions annoy the heck out of me. I just want to scream "EITHER START HURTING AND GET THIS BABY OUT OF ME OR JUST GO AWAY AND STOP TEASING ME". Last month I was reading a book about labor just so I could brush up on all the awful things that were going to happen to me, and after reading the chapter and remembering it all I felt kind of sick and had no desire to do any of it. Now however I am sooooo looking forward to it and welcoming it with open arms. I swear I will gladly go through it all just so I can get this baby out of me and see my toes again.

So there is my list, if any of you can think of any I have forgotten please post it in the comments after so I know what else to watch for.