Maternity Clothes

Well a couple weeks ago I did the inevitable... I pulled out the dreaded box of maternity clothes. Let me tell you it was quite an experience. Old maternity clothes are depressing on two counts. First they are just a reminder that you are too big and fat for your old clothes. Plus when you pull them out they look huge and at this point they are huge when you put them on so it is depressing to realize "yes I am going to get this big". For those of us that have done this pregnancy thing before we also remember that these clothes will actually be tight on us at the end because that is just how big we are going to get. I remember with my first pregnancy trying on the first maternity clothes and thinking "this is NEVER going to fit!" and then I remember that it didn't take all that long for them to fit, and then even quicker it seemed they were not quite big enough, ughhh. So that is reason number one that the big box of maternity clothes is depressing. Reason number two I think only happens if you have done this crazy baby thing a few times before. Let's just put it this way, no one wants to be reminded of the clothes they wore eight years ago. Well the other day I was reminded of the clothes I wore eight years ago when I was fat and puffy. I seriously don't remember wearing some of these clothes they are so ugly. I think the ugly clothes fairy snuck them in my box and laughed her head off at me as I pulled them out. There was a maternity shirt with big wide black and white horizontal stripes on it that someone must have given me. Every fashion expert out there says not to wear horizontal stripes, and that isn't even when you are pregnant. I also had a pair of lovely black knit overalls with tapered ankles that I got a lot of compliments on eight years ago, but when I wore them three years ago with my last pregnancy my kids always told me I looked like a penguin. I don't think I could deal with that now so those went in the trash. Then there was the eight year old dress with the HUGE lace collar. That also went in the trash. Then there were all the shirts with the 9 month stain. You all know what I am talking about. When you are nine months pregnant if you ever drop any food your belly is too big to miss, why I kept these shirts I have no idea. I think I was so glad to put them all away I didn't even look at what I was doing. Those clothes probably got in that box in about 10 seconds flat. So ya old maternity clothes are depressing. I do have to give the fashion world credit. Maternity clothes have gotten so much cuter than they were with my first pregnancy. But let me just point out some flaws with their advertising. First none of those women are pregnant!!! They are all wearing those fake bellies that show how the rest of us look when we are maybe 5 months pregnant. None of them have swollen faces or bags under their eyes from lack of sleep. Plus do you notice anything funny about this picture... she is wearing THREE INCH HEELS. Come on, how many of you wore three inch heels at the end of pregnancy. How many of you could even get your swollen feet into heels at the end of pregnancy. If I were in charge of a maternity clothes photo shoot the model would be hugely pregnant, sitting in a recliner, wearing flip flops, she would not have her legs crossed because that is impossible at the end and she would have a water bottle in one hand and an oreo in the other. Oh ya and she would be falling asleep. I think that would be more accurate, oh course no one would buy the clothes. Because really we are all in denial about the end. Which is good because if we weren't we would never make it.