Well this is the last of my three part series on anger, and frankly I am glad as angry as I am all the time I do realize it isn't a good idea to focus on and remember that anger. However, seeing as how I have all ready started this "anger series" I am committed to finishing it. So I have saved the "best for last". What may you ask would make me more angry than kids not listening or the absence of Burger King fries? The answer is easy... MEN, more specifically my husband. Now the rational side of my brain knows that he is a great guy. We will be celebrating our 10 year anniversary this month and I have to say it has been a great 10 years. He is kind, helpful, a great father, fun to talk to, and he has even been known to skip a BYU football game just to go on a date with me. So like I said the rational side of my brain knows he is great. Then there is the pregnant part of my brain. I can't seem to get the rational part and the pregnant part to agree. I find myself sooooo angry with him a lot lately. Then I ask myself is this something that I should be mad about or is it crazy pregnant woman taking over. So I will give you my "angry situations" and let you be the judge.
Situation 1, the other day he had gone on a day trip to Billings, so 8 hours in the car and 4 more in meetings, now most people would hate a day like this but he loves driving by himself and eating fast food, so for him it is a great day. Meanwhile I am at home with my stinky two year old who is really quite a challenge lately, I mean it a kicking screaming non-sleeping challenge. Feeling all day sickness, cause it is not just morning sickness for me lately, I had also acquired a nasty body aching cold and I was of course super tired. So he gets home from his ideal day and the house is slightly, okay pretty messy, but I am just proud of myself for keeping the kids fed, clothed, and not strangled. So I tell him that I think I have some sort of virus cause I feel achy and awful and he says in a monotone voice "great". Then he starts walking around the house putting things away while slamming cabinet doors and such. I can tell he is upset so I carefully ask "how were your meetings" he says in the same monotone voice "fine", okay "did you have a nice drive, were the roads good?" "they were fine". By now I can't decide if I want to shoot fire out of my mouth at him or start crying. So I say very calmly, using my fine social working skills I learned in college "I feel like you are mad at me because I am sick" he replies "I am not mad at you cause you are sick" okay then "I feel like you are mad at me cause the house is messy cause I am sick" to which he replies "I am really trying here okay" which in my mind is a load of crap (excuse my crudeness) this just pushes me over the edge, but I know I shouldn't yell so I calmly reply "If this is you trying I would hate to be around you when I didn't try"then I walked out of the room and start putting the kids to bed. Woohoo, score one for the pregnant woman, I made my point without resorting to tears or giving in to the urge to throw things! Any way he was good a couple of minutes later he apologized and ordered me to be so he could finish cleaning the kitchen.
Situation 2, now this one is a double whammy cause it combines pregnancy with middle of the night tiredness. Now I have spoken of our difficult two year old in the past, well one of her stubborn things is that she doesn't like having a sleep schedule. Sometimes she even falls asleep at 4 in the afternoon, naps for 2 hours and then wants to stay up till one, if I try to wake her after 30 min she is a bear for the next hour. So it is hard to decide what to do. So anyway we had gone to bed at 10 putting her to bed at the same time. I was very tired at this point and fell asleep immediately. So at 11 Grace gets out of bed and starts crying a screaming that she wants to get up then she starts walking around turning on all the lights. I have woken up at this point and I knew Brad had also. But he just LAY THERE!!! I know he was waiting to see if I would get up! I was livid, so i said, while grinding my teeth "are you waiting for me to get up?". He got the picture real quick and said very annoyed sounding "no" and got up and took care of her. I mean really what is he thinking, that he needs sleep more than me right now. I swear sometimes I could just kill him. Then I start thinking he got me this way and then he acts like he is some pregnant wife martyr and that life is so hard for him but he can bear the pain as his lot in life. WHATEVER, stupid men. And all the little boys born out there will turn out just like them. When I went through pregnancy and delivery with my first child I remember calling my mom and telling her how much I appreciated that she had done that for me. I suggested that my husband do the same and call his mom, he looked at me like I was crazy. I realized that my son would never appreciate what I had gone through for him. So really forget them all, except when it all comes down to it and these nine months are over I think that I will probably love him again, but we will see.
Subscribe to:
Post Comments (Atom)
3 comments:
Too funny Karen, it just sucks for both of you! But yes, men don't get how icky pregnancy is. At least my hubby admitted that if he had to be pregnant, we would only have one child. At least he admitted that he is not as tough as me! HA! Hang in there. :)
oh man karen, i am so with you on the middle of the night, dealing with the kid thing. since having a new baby, i find myself the most mad at my husband when we get all ready for bed (and it's not even that late) and the baby starts to fuss just as we turn out the light, and he just lays there and makes it very clear that he has no intention of getting up to deal with the baby. even though it's not even late. even though i haven't slept a whole night in 6 WEEKS! and then i feel like the bad guy if out of sheer exhaustion, i actually ask him to go take care of the baby. for the love!!!
Karen, I really don't think you are rational right now and should just hang in there...our rule for kids was I take care of the youngest child in the house during the night and Dad got all of the other problems, and for the record I don't remember Dad ever cleaning the house until we no longer had kids in it, so Brad is doing pretty well, but for the record Dad never ever complained about the house and how it looked...I think he might have said, things don't seem to match but that is the extent of my memory....so hang in there and remember we all have bad days, months, years, but yeah, you do in your heart of hearts love them, even when you are spitting nails....I feel for you and I almost remember the queasy stomach and the tiredness. and if you are having twins it is much worse than normal and it will probably set Brad on his side. Love you sweetheart. pS I hope you are not angry with me.
Post a Comment