Okay so maybe I will gain weight. The last couple of days have been hard for me, I have been feeling sick, which doesn't happen that often so I am mostly grateful. I have also been feeling super tired and like everything in life is overwhelming. So my house is a mess and when I step on the scale it is up 4 pounds. This had been distressing to me when I was feeling good, but I find that when I feel yucky I really don't care. So I think maybe on the days that I feel good I will worry about it and try to be really healthy and on the other days I am pretty sure I won't care a darn thing about it. I am only 9 weeks and I am showing. Since the baby is only 1 inch long I know it isn't the baby showing. All the books say that it is "bowel dissension" I really don't know what this means but it sounds really gross. Which brings me to my next topic of discussion, Why is pregnancy so gross? I mean really we all ready feel awful, get fat, get stretch marks, and have to pee in cups for months on end. Then all of a sudden words like bowel dissension, gas, and constipation are used in conversation with us constantly. This is just the beginning. I know when we come around to delivery I am going to end up practically naked in a big white room with a bunch of strangers watching me puff and groan. It really isn't fair. This baby had better be really cute.
Oh and i am still obsessed with food. Last night I had a dream that someone was eating a grilled cheese sandwich and they threw half of it in the trash. I was so mad in my dream. So after church I ate two grilled cheese sandwiches and they were soooooo yummy. I also had to speak in church today. Now for some reason in my first trimester I always have to pee all the time. So before church I make sure to go to the bathroom thinking that I will be ahead of the game. It was not to be. Literally one minute before I was supposed to get up to talk I had to pee SO BAD, I sat there thinking I am just going to have to suffer through this. It really was not fun. We also went on the youth temple trip yesterday. Now living in Helena we are 31/2 hours from the billings temple and there are a few big stretches of the drive where there is nothing but bushes for 1/2 hour at a time. So i went to the bathroom THREE TIMES before we left. With in an hour of leaving, and of course on one of these half hour stretches i had to pee sooooooo bad. I was really in pain. Pregnancy really isn't fair, but then I guess nothing in life really is. This baby better be really cute.

so now i have a blog

Well I have never blogged before because frankly my life is way too boring for anyone to want to read about. So what would make me blog now you ask? Really my reasons are selfish, I am hoping that a blog will help me. You see I am pregnant, woohoo, with my fourth kid. With pregnancies one, two, and three I gained 40, 45, and 50 pounds and my kids weighed 7, 8, and 9 pounds. So if you know anything about patterns, and I know a lot due to my kindergartner's papers he brings home, it would appear that I will gain 55 pounds and have a 10 pound baby. That is a little bit overwhelming for me so I am looking for ways to control my eating. This is where I run into another problem, pregnancy makes me sooooooo hungry. I obsess over food. Right now is the world series and anyone who knows my husband Brad knows that if there is baseball we will watch it. Anyway as often happens during sporting events all the commercials are for alcohol, razors (all these adds feature razors that fly through the air and scantily clad women feeling men's smooth faces), cars, and of course food. So after about the fifth food commercial where I said "that looks so good", this one was for a huge plate of steaming nachos that really looked super yummy, my husband Brad turned to me and said "you are obsessed with food" which is kind of sad cause that is the exact same thing my sister Leslie said to me the day before. So how can a blog help me not gain 50 pounds you ask? Well I am hoping that if I write about it and see the words before me it can be one little thing that will help me have a little more self control, plus maybe it will help me get advice from other people too. So anyway I have now written my first blog, hope you aren't all asleep, unless it is one in the morning and you are reading this too put you to sleep, and if that is the case, you are welcome.